Nickname: Gopey, Gopey, Gopey

Best Skill: Statistics

Weakness: Not playing enough

Dislikes: Poor scoring; anyone who disapproves of the Mankad

Biggest Fear: Unknown (see weakness above)

Funniest Moment: Unknown (see weakness above)

Best Moment: Managing to untangle a season’s worth of awful scorebooks to produce meaningful statistics; scoring 103* for Merton CC in 2018

Favourite Drink: Unknown (see weakness above)